Is Life Fair?

Who ever said life was fair?  As I sit here at my desk and just by chance look up and see a picture of our family standing in front of the RCA Dome before they tore it down.  We got tickets to tour Lucas Oil Stadium.  I remember that day like yesterday.  Were we elated?  At the time did we think we were having the best time of our lives?  Doubt it.  I’m sure I was just getting on everyone’s nerves taking pictures.  As I look back, I would never take that day back.  Nor the trip we took to Columbus, Ohio on Labor Day Weekend.  Or what about Ellie’s dance competition in Louisville?  None of those things at the time seem significant, but now I thank God for those memories.  I open up Yahoo today and see “Dying teen’s chance on love”.  Of course I watch as a 15 year old basically given a death sentence due to disease has a friendship ceremony with her boyfriend and dies 10 days later.  As I reflect, I have to believe God gives everyone a birth date at the same time as a death date.  That is what makes tragedy more bearable, if bearable at all.  Take for instance, the couple that just got married in Muncie and the groom has leukemia and has 2 months to live.  He is 20 years old.  To me seems truly unfair, so I have to go back to God and ask why?  I get the same answer every time: birthday equals deathday.  Although these kinds of stories are extremely sad, they do one thing for us: make us think.  Use life wisely. Run, skip and jump often.

Random Thoughts about this time of year.....

It's the holiday season and I honestly can hardley believe it.  I have all my tree's up it still doesn't seem possible. We had a great Thanksgiving meal and we do have a lot to be thankful for despite all the tragedy in the past months.  However sometimes with all the rush of things, it's hard to find those things that even make you happy and grateful.

We went to see Disney's Tangled tonight and what a joy it was just to hear Reece laugh at the funny parts.  He does has the best laugh.  It's one of those full belly laughs, that I'm sure his future wife and kids will totally adore.  It's great to have that child laugh.  He is a highly stressed little guy, so those laughs mean the world to me.

I remember one year ago tonight sitting at the hospital with my father-in-law who just had a heart attack.  I don't know if it was the ham or the turkey but something did it.  Then I walk into the same hospital this week, same new South Tower at Ball, to find my Dad admitted.  Thankful each of the stories end good.

My wish for this Holiday Season is to BELIEVE and for things to go as normal as possible.  I welcome in 2011 with open arms.

Yesterday

Yesterday, I worked on three projects on the computer.  All three projects failed. 

The first one a photo book that was free from Trip Advisor.  Book was done, but wasn't free because I did the smaller size, not the free size 8 by 8.  Had to start the project all over.

I then record Ellie's solo so she can pratice.  Well, dumb me can't remember my YouTube password so I can't save it.

Lastly, I use this blogspot for an awesome blog.  Just as I add the picture, power goes out, takes my blog with it as well as my password that I could no longer remember.

This the song is my new theme song! Love the panio part in it?  Sums up my day!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2F&h=9bf41

There are many things that run in my mind.  Usually around 100 miles an hour.  As I was posting a few of my Halloween pictures, I got to thinking people might think it's creepy we took our kids to a cemetery.  Well, it's a historical cemetery and most grave markers are from the 1800's.  It's really a awesome place to learn history and wonder how people lived back then.  Do our kids thinks it's creepy?  Nope, they ask to go.  We have had such tragedy in our family the last 7 months, one thing I want to teach them that a cemetery is not scary or creepy.  It's a place were you can go and feel close to your loved ones.  I find myself at one cemetery very frequently, giving the peace sign as I drive by, and straining my neck just to make sure the marker is still there.  In bible study we are working from a book that teaches you to live life like you only have 30 days.  It talks about the dash between your birth and death date.  That is the only thing you are in control of!  Life is short, remember the ones no longer with us and be or become who they would you to be.

"Let's run away from these lies.....back to yesterday"

Not even sure where to start but I can give you a hint of my feelings.  It's 10:54 and I'm still up.  I slept until Noon and then sleep for another 3 hours after lunch trying to read the paper.  If anyone knows me, I'm a early riser so that means I go to bed super early.  What is my problem, you ask?

In the last 2 weeks, I have taken several things hard.  When I think I can't bear anything else God gives me one more thing.  I wish I knew what he was trying to get me to see.  It's like he is talking to me in secret code.  I can just live life to my best ability and do what is right by my family and myself.

For those that are my friends and I have been distant, I am truely sorry.  Thanks for sticking around.  I'll be the same Sara soon.

Maybe it's the fact that Collie and Dallas are hurt?  That just entered my mind?  Hummmm...something to think about.

Good sleeping,

P.S. I'm currently sporting a Colts Snuggie.

Well, I'm not sure why but it's happening again.  ANXIETY along with PANIC.  Can't sleep, just watched a movie from 1991 called "Summer Catch".  I was hoping it would make me tired but no such luck. Lame movie by the way.  It was before Brittany Murphy had all her plastic surgery so she looked normal.

When do you think the most?  I noticed today, I think the most in the car.  Feels like I have a mind that just will not stop.  I think about everything but mostly what needs to be done that I don't have done.  That is my OCD.

My OCD got me thinking about my all my cushion filled will jelly that burst in L5 and S1 last November.  I have no idea what it means?  What does a rupture disc do for a person that is only 35 and is in the exercise field?  If any of you know me, I like to know what is going on and be in control.  With this I'm clueless and in pain most days.  Maybe that is why I have panic and anxiety tonight: the unknown.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's common but most people get better in 4-6 weeks.  I'm not one of those people.  Just my luck.

Yes, I am rambling and this is more than likely the worse blog I will ever write.  Just can't get over how life changes so quickly.  It doesn't matter if it's your life or someone else, the effect is astronomical.

I'm tired of life, changing.  Yes, I know, life is filled with change but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Had dinner with Brad and the kids  tonight at LAHA!  Yes, I love that place.  Just watching Reece play with the cups to put the salsa in was funny.  Then Brad teaches them the trick with the spoon on the nose.  Then we go into a discussion on "Cyclopes"?  Reece puts this band over his eyes? No idea what Reece is talking about, Brad understands completely.  "Tell your mom what that is?" "Superhero, Mom!"  Oh, well didn't know.  That child will live and become who he is because of several people but one he loved very, very much. 

Life amazes me sometimes.  Don't know if I should live in the moment or live in the memories.

Insanity Workout, Beach Body, Really?????

Sitting back and wondering if I really want to blog about today?  Today was just one of those days your alarm clock goes off and you know it's going to be bad.

First of all, I missed my INSANITY workout and I know Shaun T would be disappointed because he couldn't use me as a model in his video.  He calls out the young girls (Tonya) with flat stomachs in the video just to make those doing it in real life feel totally worthless.  I heard he yelled my name during the push ups and said "BUTT DOWN, Sara".  However, I wasn't there to endure it.  If your my fellow class members, you soon realize, I don't do things the INSANITY way, but the Sara way.  I need a back to walk and butt to sit on.

I think Shaun T knows when you don't do his workout and he made me pay by making my day a total "crash and burn". 

Thanks, Shaun T now I will never get your "Beach Body" like advertised.

Just realized I need to move........

I find myself, sitting in my house, with socks on and a sweater.  Everyone says how much they love this weather and I say "You're STUPID"!  Do you know what this weather means?  Let me give you list:

1. Winter (Winter equals cold which equals snow)
2. No sun (Very important to those who worship the sun. I love the way it just hits my face and makes me feel 100% better on some of my worst days) 
3. My car goes in the barn (My convertible in which I drive to soak up those sun's rays)
4. The Aztec is filled up with gas again (No comment)
5. My home turns into a igloo (64 degrees to 72 degrees)
6. While at work, I have to wear gloves and a hat to stay warm (Those that don't believe me, ask any intern who has worked with me in the fall and winter)
7. Christmas shopping (Yes, it's suppose to be fun, but when your OCD and have to find the most perfect gift for everyone on your list, it's totally overwhelming)
8. Researching Spring Break homes/condo's (Makes it seem like Spring will never arrive)
9. Makes me feel as if I have SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder)

So if you wonder why I'm a grump on Labor Day weekend, now everyone who knows!  I hate LABOR DAY WEEKEND, it's the end of summer.  Wake up people and get your hats, coats and gloves out.  And I don't want to hear anyone gripping when they are scrapping their cars, tracking in snow on their hardwood floor, and bundling up their children.  You wanted it.

Love live SUMMER!!!!!

First Real Blog

So, you want to know what goes on in my mind?  Well, this is what this blogging thing is all about.  Right at this very moment, I should be tucked in my bed with sugar plum fairies dancing around in my head BUT I took a 2 hour nap today after work and here I am, not tired, sitting up and creating a blog for more than likely, nobody to read.

I work in Wellness!  Sounds great huh?  Well, it's great if your aren't nursing a back injury since November 2009.  Today, I ran out of the office to the parking garage with an AED to help save a life, and ended causing more pain in my back than I did helping the person.  No the person didn't need the AED, but you never know and all was taken care of by our wonderful County EMS team.

This is just a little bit about the everyday happenings in my life.  More to come but now off to bed to lay there until the sandman takes me away.