Well, I'm not sure why but it's happening again.  ANXIETY along with PANIC.  Can't sleep, just watched a movie from 1991 called "Summer Catch".  I was hoping it would make me tired but no such luck. Lame movie by the way.  It was before Brittany Murphy had all her plastic surgery so she looked normal.

When do you think the most?  I noticed today, I think the most in the car.  Feels like I have a mind that just will not stop.  I think about everything but mostly what needs to be done that I don't have done.  That is my OCD.

My OCD got me thinking about my all my cushion filled will jelly that burst in L5 and S1 last November.  I have no idea what it means?  What does a rupture disc do for a person that is only 35 and is in the exercise field?  If any of you know me, I like to know what is going on and be in control.  With this I'm clueless and in pain most days.  Maybe that is why I have panic and anxiety tonight: the unknown.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's common but most people get better in 4-6 weeks.  I'm not one of those people.  Just my luck.

Yes, I am rambling and this is more than likely the worse blog I will ever write.  Just can't get over how life changes so quickly.  It doesn't matter if it's your life or someone else, the effect is astronomical.

I'm tired of life, changing.  Yes, I know, life is filled with change but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Had dinner with Brad and the kids  tonight at LAHA!  Yes, I love that place.  Just watching Reece play with the cups to put the salsa in was funny.  Then Brad teaches them the trick with the spoon on the nose.  Then we go into a discussion on "Cyclopes"?  Reece puts this band over his eyes? No idea what Reece is talking about, Brad understands completely.  "Tell your mom what that is?" "Superhero, Mom!"  Oh, well didn't know.  That child will live and become who he is because of several people but one he loved very, very much. 

Life amazes me sometimes.  Don't know if I should live in the moment or live in the memories.

Insanity Workout, Beach Body, Really?????

Sitting back and wondering if I really want to blog about today?  Today was just one of those days your alarm clock goes off and you know it's going to be bad.

First of all, I missed my INSANITY workout and I know Shaun T would be disappointed because he couldn't use me as a model in his video.  He calls out the young girls (Tonya) with flat stomachs in the video just to make those doing it in real life feel totally worthless.  I heard he yelled my name during the push ups and said "BUTT DOWN, Sara".  However, I wasn't there to endure it.  If your my fellow class members, you soon realize, I don't do things the INSANITY way, but the Sara way.  I need a back to walk and butt to sit on.

I think Shaun T knows when you don't do his workout and he made me pay by making my day a total "crash and burn". 

Thanks, Shaun T now I will never get your "Beach Body" like advertised.

Just realized I need to move........

I find myself, sitting in my house, with socks on and a sweater.  Everyone says how much they love this weather and I say "You're STUPID"!  Do you know what this weather means?  Let me give you list:

1. Winter (Winter equals cold which equals snow)
2. No sun (Very important to those who worship the sun. I love the way it just hits my face and makes me feel 100% better on some of my worst days) 
3. My car goes in the barn (My convertible in which I drive to soak up those sun's rays)
4. The Aztec is filled up with gas again (No comment)
5. My home turns into a igloo (64 degrees to 72 degrees)
6. While at work, I have to wear gloves and a hat to stay warm (Those that don't believe me, ask any intern who has worked with me in the fall and winter)
7. Christmas shopping (Yes, it's suppose to be fun, but when your OCD and have to find the most perfect gift for everyone on your list, it's totally overwhelming)
8. Researching Spring Break homes/condo's (Makes it seem like Spring will never arrive)
9. Makes me feel as if I have SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder)

So if you wonder why I'm a grump on Labor Day weekend, now everyone who knows!  I hate LABOR DAY WEEKEND, it's the end of summer.  Wake up people and get your hats, coats and gloves out.  And I don't want to hear anyone gripping when they are scrapping their cars, tracking in snow on their hardwood floor, and bundling up their children.  You wanted it.

Love live SUMMER!!!!!

First Real Blog

So, you want to know what goes on in my mind?  Well, this is what this blogging thing is all about.  Right at this very moment, I should be tucked in my bed with sugar plum fairies dancing around in my head BUT I took a 2 hour nap today after work and here I am, not tired, sitting up and creating a blog for more than likely, nobody to read.

I work in Wellness!  Sounds great huh?  Well, it's great if your aren't nursing a back injury since November 2009.  Today, I ran out of the office to the parking garage with an AED to help save a life, and ended causing more pain in my back than I did helping the person.  No the person didn't need the AED, but you never know and all was taken care of by our wonderful County EMS team.

This is just a little bit about the everyday happenings in my life.  More to come but now off to bed to lay there until the sandman takes me away.