Motley Crue and a little Sponge Bob Video of "Home Sweet Home"

You know I'm a dreamer, but my heart's of gold-Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue.  That is what shuffled on my Ipod today.  In my opinion the BEST hard core rock band! 

So what is a motley crew? A motley crew is a cliché for a roughly organized assembly of characters.  Motley crews are, by definition, non-uniform and undisciplined as a group.  As I look at the defintion and realize it describes our very close family.  I could give you a description of each of us or our characters, but if you know us, you already know who we are.

When one character is taken away from the "crue" it makes life a little difficult.  Today reminds me of him and how much he is missed by all of us.

This is Sponge Bob singing Dave's song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onQgxcluSU4

Lyrics are my thoughts someone else is singing......

Today I woke up and was extremely anxious.  If you ask me about what, I wish I could tell you.  As we get closer to the day that changed our lives forever, the sadder I become.  So what do I do?  Block the world out with headphones and music.  No, not my funky running music, but my what I refere to as my "sad" music.  It reminds me how far we have come as a family without the one I miss the most. 

Some of the music that got me through those first couple of days were:
Storm, Lifehouse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KiD-QXyuQM
I Can Only Imagine, MercyMe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9La_4svq8JI

I don't really like John Mayer, but his song titled Heartbrake Warfare helped me as well.  Different reason why he is singing it but still felt like we were going through Heartbrake Warfare.  Except we had already lost the war.

Then later that summer Miley Cyrus played a leading role in "The Last Song".  The song When I Look at You is my ringtone when Kaitlan calls.  That song was wrote for her!  It's one of my all time favorites, but it doesn't belong to me, it's Kaitlan's song to her Daddy.

Songs that pick me up these days are:

Tiny Light, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (The lyrics express what I can not.)

Prisoner of Hope, Ali Moss (Ellie's solo to Dave) I can cry everytime I watch her to do it.

Broken, by Lifehouse.

I'll Be Missing You, Puffy Daddy and Faith Evans (Ellie's personal favorite song to Dave)

I just wish I had the talent these singers/song writters have to express their feelings.  It's amazing how they can get into your head and truely take you back to a moment or get you through a moment.

Life without............

We all have flaws.  One of mine is simple: I think too much. In the shower today I came up with this: "Sara is made up of many parts.  All pieces to a very complex puzzle."  You take a piece away, I don't pick myself back up and just stroll on.  I honestly get really frazzled.  What is odd, is I'm just figuring this out.  I think because some things taken away from me now, at this point in life, are permanent.  Family members, friends, time, etc.

Surgery of all things has been one of the most eye opening experiences in what little time I call my 35 years of existence.  A large piece of me is the total realm of Wellness.  No I don't eat organic food, and yes I go to Burger King but Wellness is a total purspectivie in which I live.  Surgery/injury has taken that away.  Will I get better?  Depends on which day you ask me.  Yesterday: "WHY DID YOU LET THEM CUT ME". Today: "This is going to be a long road ahead."  Maybe, I'm just really being a big baby because I can no longer do things myself?  Knocked the shampoo off in the shower, can't pick it up, dang left the towel on the floor, let's see if I use my feet, I really want a fountain Coke, Oh yeah, can't drive.  The list goes on and on.  I wish I could say, this is just tempurary, but I now must live with many resistrictions.  One of those including, leaving my family at the number of four.  I would rather deciede that, not a neruosugreon.

I'm kinda laughing at myself for blogging my thoughts, but God didn't bless me with song writting ability. 

Any who,

Sara

Why 2011 is going to be a great year!!!!!

Today, I'm very thankful.  When you ring in a new year, I think it's common to look back on the past, but my goal is to look forward to the future.  What am I looking forward to this year?  I list them, but not in order:

• Spending time with family.  Over the last year, you can never take any moment for granted.
• Growing relationships.  Keeping those that are close to me, always close to me. 
• Starting new traditions with the people that mean the most.
• Watching and playing with my children and just spending quality time with them.
• Remaining healthy!  I now realize what chronic pain can do to a person physically and mentally.
• Becoming a happy person.  (Those of you who stuck by, get this one).
• Seeing my baseball family again.  I miss them over the winter.  Reece needs activity!
• Watching Ellie compete at dance.  She amazes me over and over.
• Watching my niece and nephew grow from the experience God dealt them.
• Telling people how I really feel.  When I don't agree, I will no longer shake my head "yes".
• Stop swimming upstream as my friend calls it.  Meaning, think and worry less.
• Realize I'm not in control of everything.  Things happen for a reason.