Well, I'm not sure why but it's happening again.  ANXIETY along with PANIC.  Can't sleep, just watched a movie from 1991 called "Summer Catch".  I was hoping it would make me tired but no such luck. Lame movie by the way.  It was before Brittany Murphy had all her plastic surgery so she looked normal.

When do you think the most?  I noticed today, I think the most in the car.  Feels like I have a mind that just will not stop.  I think about everything but mostly what needs to be done that I don't have done.  That is my OCD.

My OCD got me thinking about my all my cushion filled will jelly that burst in L5 and S1 last November.  I have no idea what it means?  What does a rupture disc do for a person that is only 35 and is in the exercise field?  If any of you know me, I like to know what is going on and be in control.  With this I'm clueless and in pain most days.  Maybe that is why I have panic and anxiety tonight: the unknown.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's common but most people get better in 4-6 weeks.  I'm not one of those people.  Just my luck.

Yes, I am rambling and this is more than likely the worse blog I will ever write.  Just can't get over how life changes so quickly.  It doesn't matter if it's your life or someone else, the effect is astronomical.

I'm tired of life, changing.  Yes, I know, life is filled with change but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Had dinner with Brad and the kids  tonight at LAHA!  Yes, I love that place.  Just watching Reece play with the cups to put the salsa in was funny.  Then Brad teaches them the trick with the spoon on the nose.  Then we go into a discussion on "Cyclopes"?  Reece puts this band over his eyes? No idea what Reece is talking about, Brad understands completely.  "Tell your mom what that is?" "Superhero, Mom!"  Oh, well didn't know.  That child will live and become who he is because of several people but one he loved very, very much. 

Life amazes me sometimes.  Don't know if I should live in the moment or live in the memories.